"Patterns"

I saw you from afar....

2011-09-17T07:31:00.001-07:00

I saw you from afar
I called you near
In expectation
And anticipation

We clasped hands
And ran to dewy fields
Rolling among poppies
Breathing the scent

No need to talk
Our eyes said it all
Clasping bodies
Amid fever'd frissons

Slowly stripping
Our ev’ry vestment
Stroking, caressing
Feeling curves

We know so well
Memories refreshed
With time elapsed
Melted to nothing

Rising and falling
With deepest joy
Laughter ensued
Calm togetherness

Peace at last
Basking in elation
Holding each other
Sighing gently

©K M James 24.02.11

Time to move on

2010-10-08T00:52:00.000-07:00

The new day is dawning
(I’m thinking of awnings)
More boxes to pack
Oh no, my back!

The sofas have gone
To a new home – tis done
New sofas appeared
No jam to be smeared

The cat shows confusion
Yet sleeps in illusion
A false comfort before
A new house… and more

In a few days we will go
From old to new - 7 years ago
A new pad by the river
The moon is a sliver

Imagine us in there
All unpacked with great care
Or three for new living
A fresh start to our being

Ode to Les Grisettes (on the occasion of a performance of The Merry Widow)

2010-07-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

We stumbled on stage
In glorious assuage
We sang and we trounced
With our skirts did we flounce

We flirted, cavorted
And tempted and naughtied
Kicking our heels
Amidst gleeful squeals

Men seemed delighted
Eyes were not slighted
As they gazed on our
..Faces from afar

We danced on the stage
Despite our great age
Youth may be denied
But what fun, we cried!

We turned a cartwheel
(In our minds we did feel)
At the end, a tableau
Flattened oh ho!!

We staggered upstanding
Creaking and landing
Our breath barely caught
Our limbs far less taut

The wobbles and panics
We played out our antics
Next morning it seemed
What had we just dreamed?

Postscript: "my knees, oh my knees.....!"

@K M James July 2010

The Mask

2010-07-12T00:50:00.001-07:00

I don’t wear a mask I say
Am happy, able and content
My fears you think you may allay
But I know best, despite intent

I have never worn a mask I say
Despite the past gone by
Naturally I have no fears to slay
You think you know best, you say

You think I wear a mask – who me?
But this can’t be so, despite my past
Honestly I am really fine and free
You think you can get inside of me

You’re in my head, you twisting snake
Round and round my thoughts
Don’t come in, there’s much at stake
You wonder too, can I be taught?

Really am at peace … no I’m not
You’ve found me out, I cannot lie
Damn this learning, I’m in a knot
What can I do now, to get on by?

I’m a place that no one sees
I’m living life with integrity
It’s sad, happy yet with more peace
Acknowledging inequity

Moving forwards, can you see
Acknowledging my outward self
Tangled webs you never see
Duality of my inner health

Who are you really, in my head?
My treasured learning, with intent?
Is it those around I see
Or my inner dread?

Is there light outside the mask
Realisation of development?
Can I complete the worldly task
And stay completely congruent?

Some have said...

2010-07-11T13:54:00.000-07:00

Some have said
A funny poem
Is all I want to read

You sound depressed
And oh so sad
Lift your mood

Laugh out loud
And be uplifted
So why is it hard to do?

When times are rough
My mind a fluff
To focus is … hmm.. what’s that?

My mind awash
With blatant thoughts
Of killers and their prey

Oh yes I can find
A silver lining
I only need to look

Jokes and more
Make me laugh
Where’s the fun in that?

Next time the blues
Return again
Shoot them down!

Put them in a box
Tie to a balloon
Watch them fly away

Are you completely mad?
I can’t do that,
Means I have to think!

So there you go around
Again with thoughts
That find no end!

Victim

2010-07-11T13:53:00.001-07:00

I thought I was a victim
But I came to believe
I knew better

Many years I have stood
Up to you and failed
Retreating

You believed I was stupid
Criticised me time over
I admitted defeat

The tables have turned
I’m standing again
No more defeat

You think you’re a victim
Hidden paralysis
Retreating

We are no victims
We have chosen our path
Standing firm

You still think you’re a victim
Because you haven’t won
Angry you seem

But you chose your path
There are no winners
A shared destiny

Unavoidably joined
Our future paths set
Anger must subside

The Beast

2010-07-11T13:42:00.002-07:00

He waits and he watches
Considers his pounce
Not yet he ponders
I’ll wait a while longer

He waits and he watches
Enjoys his meandering
Perhaps soon he considers
Whilst he enjoys himself more

He watches and waits
Notices her squirming
A few words here and
Still he stands back to reflect

Watching and waiting
Now is the time
He considers his pounce
Leaps and attacks

He stands back and watches
Considers his catch
Not sure it was worth it
She fades and she falls

He stands back and waits
For grief to set in
He realises with gravitas
The vastness of error

Never again will he watch
Nor will he wait
The thrill of the chase
Is over indeed

Moving on

2010-07-11T13:42:00.001-07:00

Moving on with time
Acknowledge past sublime
Cut ties and look out
Fortunes to tout
Thanks for past learning
Projects developed
Exciting times ahead

Rid from the spree
Remove the debris
Cleansing and clearing
Happiness nearing
Diligent working
Projects abound
Exciting times ahead

I saw you from afar

2010-07-11T13:40:00.000-07:00

I saw you from afar
I called you near
In expectation
And anticipation

We clasped hands
And ran to the fields
Rolling among poppies
Breathing the scent

No need to talk
Our eyes said it all
Clasping bodies
In deepest joy

Slowly stripping
Our ev’ry vestment
Stroking, caressing
Feeling the curves

We know so well
Memories refreshed
With time elapsed
Melted to nothing

Rising and falling
With deepest joy
Laughter ensued
Calm togetherness

Peace at last
Basking in elation
Holding each other
Sighing gently

Making sense

2010-07-11T13:37:00.000-07:00

Making sense of the world
I sit and admire
I ponder anew
On the joys I am given
And thank those
Who travel alongside

Sometimes I struggle
I feel so confused
Learning to trust
The universe will help
Working things out
Step in and change

Just have to accept
The world is as it is
The pain and the grief
Is nothing compared
To others who may
Feel far worse

Accepting the feeling
Acknowledge the pain
Awareness itself
Of the life lesson learnt
Some things just are thus
There is nothing to do

When things need to change
The discomfort increases
Be active you see
Though some people say “no”
Being part of those lessons
For others and me

Timing is not always ours
To choose – this means
Others may not agree
With our timing you see
Sit with the moment
The time will come again

And again it will come
Until the lessons are learned
Karma is just that
The more difficult it seems
Maybe just because
We hated the timing

Every cloud has a purpose

2010-07-11T13:35:00.004-07:00

Every cloud has a purpose
To show us the rain
The rain brings new wonder
Green grasses of home
New growth and a cleansing
Catharsis indeed
The rain washes away
My fears are allayed
And perhaps the grief
Can lessen its brief
Lo ever behold
New wonder so bold
My ever awareness
Replaces my sadness
Joy comes in focus
My eyes can now see

Just for today

2010-07-11T13:35:00.003-07:00

Just for today do not worry
Know that your path is true
Sometimes you are in a hurry
A need to react and respond

Know the way will be shown
Before your birds have flown
The road will be clearer
The heart ever dearer

Love you will find again
Truth will be your gain
Things unfair have come your way
I am here to fears allay

Maybe your peace is within you
Sometimes calm is hard to do
Feel that sense of relaxation
Bask in your new found creation

Sometimes

2010-07-11T13:35:00.001-07:00

Sometimes life deals us
Things to challenge us to the core
Yet life seemed so simple before
We learn to handle pain
Amid the pleasure
Of knowing something new

Pain it seems, tears are there
Sometimes unshed, sometimes blown
Away by a friendly smile
An ear to hear
A heart to accept with knowing
Without judgement gone before

Survival may seem so very hard
Yet we can emerge stronger
Look upwards to the heavens
Understand that sometimes
Challenges seem so unfair, yet
Support is a heartbeat away

Living

2010-07-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

Learning, loving
Can sometimes be hard
As we learn the lessons
We are bound to learn

Being hurt time again
Finding out that
Our truth was not
As it might be

Suddenly one day
It fits and makes sense
Together and apart
We can move forwards

Make sense of our world
Despite paradox
No sense it makes
But it fits... for now

The path may be long

2010-07-11T13:27:00.000-07:00

The path may be long
and well trod
and rocky too
But stepping easily

We may stumble
Yet pick ourselves up
Try again - daring
yet again - what fear?

Fear of tripping
Failing again yet
Emerging stronger
Learning and loving

We can be rocks
We learn and we know
Pick up the rocks
throw them out to sea

The calming
comforting sea?
Riding the storm
Never letting go

8 January 2010

A Treasured Path

2010-07-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

We shared a many
Treasured path
We stumbled across mud
And encountered the spring
Of new life and new love
But trouble was abound

Our paths have been
Masked by many
A weathered path
Sometimes it makes us
Not quite who we are
How well do we know
Who we really are?

We stumble anew
Across fields of new life
Feeling our way
In the dark it may seem
We are loving folk
But misguided at times
It still means we have love inside

April 2010

Timing

2010-07-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

It’s all about when, not where or who
It’s about the time of day, week, month, year
Sometimes, suddenly
Something seems just right
It’s the right time
The right feeling
The right action

Sometimes we are young
In our youth
We make decisions
Based on what feels right
Then knowledge strikes and
Then it hasn’t felt right
In the end

We didn’t have all the facts
That we gain with age
We don’t realise our faults
Our background
It’s effects
Those close to us
May not always have our best interests

We learn from our mistakes
We learn from our peers
We learn from our families
But we need to learn from ourselves
Find out who we are
We can be influenced
We may not stay true
To our own path

Find out what’s going on
Underneath
Go with the flow
Go with our instincts
Do what feels right based on who we are
But go with love
Always love – never let that die away

6 February 2010

Oh! The Children!

2008-04-05T03:01:00.000-07:00

Watch out for the children

they might take over

Be careful lest they rule the roost

A simple word, a careful gesture

The storm is abated anew

They think and they feel

They think they know best

But a guiding hand is in the nest

They love passionately

As mother does too

But a balance all round is what works best

Walls of Life

2008-04-05T03:00:00.000-07:00

Be careful of the wall
It is delicate when new
One wrong move to take a brick down
Even step by step
Can result in a brick landing on you
Take care when building
Use concrete - renowned for its solidifying
Nurture your wall day by day
It will grow to be strong
But be warned
Sometimes walls prevent
The entering of something precious
Allow the bricks be taken down bit by bit
Don't chisel too soon
Lest they should harm
The careful dismantler
Are you inside looking out
Or outside looking in
Walls can be helpful
But they can hinder
Know when it needs to be taken down
Brick by brick
Don't let the bricks fall out and hurt
Just as it takes time to build a wall
It takes a moment to knock it down
With one adept, careful move

Roses have thorns

2008-04-05T02:58:00.000-07:00

You may well ask why. It is interesting that to show his lover the depth of his feelings, he will give her a dozen red roses. Roses are a metaphor for love. Their intricate beauty and delicate smell. You need to handle a petal with as much love and care as the manner and thought behind which they were purchased.

One wrong move can bruise easily, unintentionally. Kept in the right place in the right conditions a cut rose can last for a long time. Indeed some roses have been preserved forever within a vaccuum packed glass vase. Sometimes if you move too quickly - or make a wrong move - you can be hurt until you bleed - for even the most beautiful red rose has a thorn on its stem.

Handle with Care

[Kate's postscript :I wonder now whether this "statement" of mine, for wont of a better word, is more indicative of a fragile relationship that can never quite work. For true love goes far deeper - ideally there should be no bleeding - maybe that depends on the strength of the individual?]

Daddy's New Car (1996)

2008-04-05T02:53:00.000-07:00

DADDY’S GOT A NEW CAR

A phone call from Hamburg: “I’ve got my new car – it’s really great. It’s got programmable seat positions, a tiptronic gear box and a CD that gives you directions!”

So Daddy’s got a new car. It is green, with leather seats to match. The driver’s seat has three programmable seat positions, so that the driver can select position number one, and other “named” drivers can select positions two and three. If driver number two comes along and wants to drive the car, he or she simply steps in and keys in number 2. The seat automatically shifts into the relevant position, as do the wing mirrors.

One almost expects it to leap into action with “Your morning paper, sir…” “I want to go for a ride in your new car, Daddy!” came the chirrups of daughter number one, as soon as Dad had arrived home from picking up his new Audi A6 in pristine condition, all the way from Hamburg. “Girls! Be careful of the seats! I don’t want any sticky marks on this car like on the other car!” “Careful opening the door, don’t scratch the paintwork!” So off we went for a drive to Cirencester.

We programmed in our destination to the CD and it began speaking in womanly dulcet tones to us. At last a female that knows where she is going…. “Road is being calculated…..” “Proceed along the road for 4 miles. Continue until further instructions.” “Turn right at next junction.” We proceeded to turn left, believing the instructions to be incorrect. “Make a U-turn if possible and take next left”… We ignored the instructions again, went past a different turning and the CD began re-assess and then came out with: “Proceed until the next roundabout and take the third exit.” A small diagram on the dashboard shows the approach to the roundabout, and the turnoff to take.

Unfortunately, after half an hour of sitting in this car all the way to Cirencester, purely for the joy, you understand, of riding in Daddy’s new car.. and my mind began to wander. The CD’s instructions took on a mind of their own: “Proceed along the road until you hit the next lamppost…” “Please avoid crashing into the car in front… take the next turning and drive into the lake…” “I’m a woman. NEVER underestimate the power of a woman or else I’ll lead you up the garden path” “Next time you refuse to follow my instructions correctly I shall auto-destruct within five seconds” “No one is watching you right now, you may pick your nose…”

At last a female that will never leave her man, at least not while he’s driving… Isn’t it wonderful, all this new modern technology? I enquired as to whether or not the windscreen wipers on the car were automatic, i.e. switching on at the first drop of rain. My husband sounded quite sad that in fact, no, they weren’t – but his colleague’s were! He’s got a new Mercedes…. Oh, and the best thing of all for us practical peeps? It has cup holders for drinks!

Kate (between Great Somerford and Cirencester, 1996)